There’s nothing better than sharing a glass of wine with family and friends … except for maybe sharing some punny quips on Instagram.
Sure, there are plenty of usual quotes, like “Love is like wine; it gets better over time.”
Or, “Wine and friends are a great blend” (thanks, Ernest).
But, what’s the most-used toast when you clink glasses of vino: Cheers! And cheers to me means chuckles, happy, here’s to mud in your eye … you get the gist.
Now, I’m not sure if wine makes me wittier or I just feel wittier after I drink it, but I don’t think there’s a better way to make a memorable impression than adding a caption, phrase, or joke that sticks long after the post is gone.
So, let’s uncork a few of my favorites (191, to be exact!) and let the pun begin!
Wine Puns: They’re Always in Pour Taste.
Here’s a few with wine as the main course.
- I hear you like wine. Grape minds think alike.
- You’re wine in a million.
- It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
- Love the wine you’re with.
- Where there’s a wine, there’s a way.
- Time to wine down.
- I don’t complain. I just wine.
- Wine a little, laugh a lot.
- Be kind, re-wine.
- Wine and dinner = winner!
- Wine me up and watch me go!
- Wine not?
- Let’s drink some wine — it’s not good to keep things bottled up.
- Can you read between the wines?
- All for wine and wine for all!
- Wine: it’s a cellar’s market.
- You’re the wine that I want.
- Life is wine-derful!
- A wine hangover is a grape depression.
- Let’s get fizzical!
- Wine flies when you’re having fun!
- Atone for wine’s sins.
- If at first you don’t succeed, wine, wine, again.
- It takes wine to know wine.
- It was the best of wines; it was the worst of wines.
- Wine moment, please.
- Wine thing leads to another.
- Wine to remember.
- Decisions about wine should be made on a case-by-case basis.
- Hate to burst your bubble, but not all champagne is sparkling wine.
- Wine sometimes deserves the red carpet treatment.
- Your guess is as good as wine.
- These are the wine of the times.
- I decant even understand why you wouldn’t like vino.
- This wine is di-vine!
- Sorry I’m tipsy, alcohol you later.
- Wine: in a glass of its own.
- You’ve got a wine of your own.
- You can’t spell wine without vine.
- Wine me up before you go, go!
- Say you’ll be wine.
- I’m in the right place at the white wine.
- I’m on cloud wine.
- If you can’t be with the one you love, love the wine you’re with.
- Ask not what your wine can do for you; ask what you can do for some wine.
- Friends until the end of wine.
- My Indian name is Runs With Wine.
- Happy Valen-Wines Day! Because you can’t drink flowers.
- Carpe Vinum. Seize the wine.
- I need a hug…e bottle of wine.
- By now, the wine should know enough to come out of the store when I honk.
- A day without wine is like … not for me.
- Wine is like a “clear history” button for your brain.
Everything Happens For a Riesling.
Have a certain wine in mind? Check out these house specials:
- I came, I saw, I Concord!
- Do you know the way to Cabernet?
- Don’t Loire your standards!
- Go Chard or go home!
- Let’s go Bacchus to the beginning.
- I’m going to need a Napa after all this wine!
- Beyond any Chateau of doubt.
- Living in Zin.
- Wine don’t we order more Chardonnay?
- The future is Rosé!
- This bottle of Merlot is exceedingly well red.
- Stop and smell the Rosé.
- Do you want a glass of wine? You bet Shiraz I do!
- Hakuna Moscato: It means no worries for the rest of your day.
- You’re one in a Semillon!
- Sonoma wines, so little time.
- This is a Barolo of fun!
- Why have less scato when you can have Moscato?
- There will Pinot wine before its time.
- How Merlot can you go?
Sometimes I Make Pour Decisions.
Whether your glass if half full or half empty, there’s always room for more with ideas like these:
- Go overpoured.
- Poured out of my wine.
I’m So Grapeful For You.
These suggestions go right to the heart of the juice:
- With grape power comes grape responsibility.
- A great beginning makes a grape ending.
- Life in abundance comes only through grape love.
- Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the grape.
- Simply enjoy life and the grape pleasures that come with it.
- This wine is grape beyond a raisin-able doubt.
- These are grape times.
- It’s a grape day to be alive!
- I heard it through the grapevine.
- We all have grape expectations.
- Is this a grape time or what?
- You can’t have too much of a grape thing.
- You’ve got grape love.
Sip, Sip, Hooray!
Whether you drink it, sip it, or chug it right from the bottle, these will help you express it:
- We drink no wine before it’s time.
- Great wines drink alike.
- Sip happens.
- Love at first sip.
- The longest journey starts with a single sip.
- Drink like there’ll Pinot tomorrow!
- Wine sips sinks ships.
- Sip me baby, one more time.
- Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
- Sippity do da, sippity yay!
- Be flute-ful and multiply.
- I’ll drink you under the label.
- Yoga class? I thought you said pour a glass.
Put a Cork In It.
There’s no stopping the puns with these quirky quips:
- Wine or corktails?
- When it comes to wine, it’s time to pull out all the stops.
- Uncork and unwind.
- What a corker!
If you’re a movie buff, bring out the pop-cork for these:
- Grapes of Wrath
- Planet of the Grapes
- Splendour in the Glass
- Sippin’ in the Rain
- The Best Years of Our Wines
- The French Connection
- Invasion of the Bottle Snatchers
- Gone With the Wine
- Drink the Right Thing
- A Raisin in the Sun
- Doctor Moscato
- Live and Get Dry
- Beauty in the Yeast
- The Moscato Coast
- The Wining
- Bottle Royale
- Gone in 60 Seconds
- Catch V if You Can
- 50 First Grapes
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Wine
- Mean Swirls
- National Treasure
- The Aerator
- Into the Wine
- X-Men: First Glass
- About Wine
- The Big Port
- Once Upon a Wine … in Hollywood
- Pretty in Pink
Wine Jokes – Which Type of Wine Do They Serve at Horse Races? Chardon-neigh.
There are puns, and then there are jokes. Try a few of these on for sighs:
- Does too much wine make you fat? No, it makes you lean on tables, chairs, or ugly people.
- Which wine is known for making people drowsy? Sauvignon yawn blanc.
- Which type of wine do traffic cops like the most? Fine wines.
- How do you resuscitate a bottle of wine? Open the bottle and let it breathe. If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
- What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- What do you call a grape that is an anti-diuretic? Pinot Moir
- What kind of wine is aged to perfection? Mos-cat-o
- Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire? He heard it was a Goodyear.
- What’s tonight’s forecast? 99% chance of wine
- How much whine would a wine drinker whine if a wine drinker couldn’t drink wine?
- What is novinophobia? The fear of running out of wine.
- What’s the difference between a glass a wine and your opinion? I asked for the wine.
- When is National Wine Day? January 1-December 31.
- Who do you call when you have a glass empty emergency? Nine-wine-wine.
- What does a balanced diet mean? One glass of wine in each hand.
- What does wangry mean? Feeling or showing anger or irritability due to lack of wine.
- Have you seen the latest improv comedy show for vino lovers? It’s called Whose Wine Is It Anyway?
- What’s an elephant’s favorite wine? Anything Tuscan
- Why is Mevushal wine the fastest of all wines? Because it’s pasteurized before you know it.
- What kind of wine goes right through you? Pinot Noir
- Did you know Pinot Noir is actually spelled Pinot Noi? There’s technically Noir.
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great wine, no atmosphere.
Not to Get Technical … But According to Chemistry, Alcohol Is a Solution.
No other way to phrase it, these are great options to add to your post:
- Lord, give me coffee to change the things I can, and wine to accept the things I can’t.
- I tried cooking with wine last night. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was in the kitchen.
- The other day someone told me that I could make ice cubes with leftover wine. I was confused … what is leftover wine?
- I can’t afford a vacation. So I’m just going to drink until I don’t know where I am.
- The answer may not lie at the bottom of the bottle. But you should at least check.
- In dog wine, I’ve only had two glasses.
- For instant happiness, just add wine.
- I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.
- Turn that
frownbottle upside down.
- Every time I utter that dirty word “exercise,” I wash my mouth out with wine.
- When I said I was cleaning, I meant I was polishing off two bottles of wine.
- Please pardon my mood. I had too many grapes last night.
- I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle.
- Another bottle of wine with no genie at the bottom. I’ll keep trying.
- I used to think that drinking was bad for me … so I stopped thinking.
- I’m giving up wine every day all month. No wait … that came out wrong. I’m giving up. Wine every day all month!
- We have an open-door policy. Show up with wine, and we’ll open the door.
- He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious; I said he had no proof.
- You’re so vine, you probably think this pun is about you.
- Vintner takes all!
- Come to drink of it, we’re going to need more wine.